Beautifully Difficult
The scenario at our house on Sunday morning is quite chaotic. It is liken to an explosion of massive fireworks, set right off in our living room and kid’s bathroom. Most Sundays I am just trying to make it out alive. If I had the money, I would pay BIG bucks to hire one of those au-pairs from an international land that come to your house and tend to your children while you do all the other mom-things. They would come on Saturday nights and leave on Monday mornings just to get us through the weekend craziness! Where are you AU PAIR!?
For us on Sunday mornings, my husband leaves the house early and it’s me vs. kids. Cue the fireworks. I am left to the wolves, or at least that is what my feelings tell me. This is a pretty typical Sunday scenario:
We wake up and the wolves come in, usually in tears about something. Then diaper and potty time.
We eat breakfast and then breakfast is spilled…everywhere.
A show is put on, and the little wolves cry about which one they want to watch.
After never coming to an agreement, we end up watching a documentary on baby birds and crying continues because the little one doesn’t like birds.
I attempt to shower. (Round 1)
They need juice and more food because they didn’t like their breakfast.
Back to shower. (Round 2)
The little one brings me an orange and has to have it open right then.
Open orange in shower. Little wolf gets mad because he wanted to open it.
Give up on shower and give into dry shampoo.
Get myself dressed and find son in the living room with diaper off and poop on the carpet. Clean him up and have to change clothes.
Put on robe and attempt kids to get dressed.
Dear daughter doesn’t want to wear anything but a pretend princess dress or 80’s night costume and throws fit until she gets her way. Because mama can’t deal.
Get son dressed, but he still smells like poop so he needs a bath. He doesn’t want to get in the bath and then he doesn’t want to get out of the bath.
Get myself dressed and make up. (What round is this?)
Fix daughter’s hair. Attempt to brush curly hair. It’s all over at this point and my eyeliner is smeared all over my eyelids as all of us are in tears.
Get in the car and attempt to get to the service before the blessed altar call so I can receive healing from all of the Sunday morning madness.
Bless it.
For most people, Sunday is their day of rest. Their church experience is part of that. They probably have a nice lunch with their family afterwards (likely with all of their other extended family…(if this is you, you are BLESSED!) )and then go home to tuck their kids into naps and may enjoy a nap themselves. Or at least some peace and quiet before Monday comes around. For those of us in ministry, we have a different weekend routine and I‘ll be honest, it has taken a while to get used to. I know it won’t always be like this, that this is a season where littles are more needy and this too shall pass…oh and I will miss these days. And I know I will. As hard as it is, this is the best place I have ever been in my life. I love being a mom and a wife and being able to share Jesus to people every day. I can’t believe that we get to do what we do as a JOB! However, the season is beautifully difficult and Sunday mornings at my home is part of that.
I remember a time several years ago we were at a Trunk or Treat at our church. For weeks, I had looked forward to taking our daughter and just enjoying the night as a family. She looked so cute in her little owl costume and I couldn’t wait to show her off and see her in the bounce houses and playing the carnival games. It was the moment mom’s wait for! My husband got asked to help with the event and I remember sitting there in between resentful and bitter. This was OUR family time! I immediately was unhappy in our marriage, in ministry and wanted to completely change the course of direction for our family. It is amazing how one unhealthy thought can spin out of control. All the mind games hit me at once and it just seemed “easier” to have a “simpler” life. I looked at all of the families doing what I wanted to be doing and I wallowed in self-pity. God let me do this for a good 15-20 minutes and then spoke to my heart something I will never forget.
“I have not called you for an easy and simple life.”
At that moment, I was humbled and floored. In the back of my heart I still thought, “what does this mean for ME? Does this mean I will never have the chance to sit with my husband in church or attend the church carnival with my kids in their cute costumes? Will I always be wishing we had an easier life? Are things always going to look like this?”
I see how cunning our adversary is in times like these, where he takes an opportunity to thwart our perception of ministry to get us off course. I don’t know everything about the enemy, but I know he likes to do anything he can to shift our focus to ourselves whenever he can.
If you are in a busy season of ministry and have struggled with wanting easy and simple, and/or have let feelings of loneliness, bitterness or resentment creep in, let me challenge you with 6 things…
Don’t dwell on hardships of life as something that is negative.
Laugh and laugh often.
Especially at the poop on the carpet in the least of convenient times.
If you have children, let them see you laugh at the craziness of Sunday morning! Make it a game and have fun. Remember you are raising little ones you want to love church and do greater things for the Kingdom than you!
Champion others by serving them well.
Don’t let your stress be contagious when you get there!
Don’t be too afraid or prideful to ask for help.
That is what the Body of Christ is for!
Always believe the best in your ministry partner!
Understand that your spouse is juggling many things and wearing many hats and that he’s trying the best he can. Grace upon grace!
Let it sink in that God trusts you.
He trusts you that you can do this, even if it is beautifully difficult. He chose you!
In this beautifully difficult season, I am learning a new trust in God that I have never had before. I am beginning to see that He has called us to something different and greater and that the enemy wouldn’t be fighting us so hard if it weren’t exactly where we were meant to be. I am seeing that what I don’t have, God makes up to me in different ways and that I am so blessed to be able to do what we do. The call can be difficult and beautiful all at the same time. And it is…and that’s ok!
PS- I encourage you to read Matthew 4:1-11 about the temptation of Jesus and how the enemy tried everything he could to get Jesus off course. In his last attempt, before fleeing, the enemy tempted him with a different view of what could be his. If you are experiencing this, I encourage you to speak to the enemy. Tell him to flee and know that I am believing and championing you to “fight the good fight of faith!” Victory is ours when we purpose our heart and minds on Christ!
With you on the journey,
Jessica Cultra
XOXO
READ MORE from our friend, Jess, on her blog over at CultraAndCo.com!
