As a mother of two boys I have heard my fair share of screams.
There is the “brother has my toy” scream, the “you’re not paying attention to me” scream, the “I’m too tired to communicate” scream, the “I hurt myself” scream, the “I’m dying” scream and then, the worst of all, the “I just got a shot” scream. Not I’ve BEEN shot. But the… “you took me to the dr. and they pierced my innocent skin with what seems like a ten inch needle that reached to the depths of my soul” kind of shot.
It is June 13th and my sons have officially been out of school now for a week.
Which means we are now only a mere seven days into summer break… and if you were to sum up how this is going for me it would look a little something like this…
This time last year I was preparing for our second son's arrival. Questions raced through my head all day; what would he look like, would he have the same crazy hair as our first son, would he be independent or a momma's boy, would he be a sleeper... Dear God, please let him be a sleeper! Waiting for answers was the worst part. And then he was here. All 8 pounds 6 ounces of him. White as can be, nearly bald but for the blonde fuzz that stuck to his head. Nothing like our first son, Michael. No, but in his own way Jacob was perfect.
Have you ever felt like you were going through your life with a barrier between you and everyone and everything else? The best way I can describe the feeling I mean is sort of like if you’ve ever been swimming and while underwater tried to yell from underneath so that someone above the surface could hear you.
When was the last time you lost a friend? It used to be much harder to know and then this crazy thing called social media came up with this button that made everyone painfully aware of when they had done something that wasn’t pleasing to someone else.
As the years have come and gone we have moved a little further and a little further away from that camp up in Chico, CA but it’s memory will stay with me a lifetime. From time to time I crave the camaraderie I found at that table, the encouragement, the laughs, the memories made, and even that delicious pizza. Oh the pizza! If only it weren’t a five hour drive to get that little slice of heaven!
A little while back I was listening to a friend speak to a room full of leaders about the greatest lessons she learned while being in ministry, a message she spoke at my request, and for a moment I wish I hadn’t. She closed out her message with her most important lesson learned, “ministry is a privilege”. A privilege. Was she serious?
When I first started getting involved in ministry I had no idea what I was doing. I started volunteering right around the same time that I had newly dedicated my life to Jesus and I definitely felt like a fish out of water. My heart had changed because of Jesus but I was still trying to figure out how to make my actions and my life match what I knew was different inside.
Centuries ago the Israelites wandered in the desert celebrating the miracles of God one minute and forgetting all about Him the next. Praising Him for their deliverance and then cursing Him for their “lack”. And after reading through the first few books of the Old testament I can’t help but wonder, if we ever look as fickle and ridiculous as we sound sometimes.
Now, this is a story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute - just sit right there - I'll tell you how my keys vanished into thin air.
I can’t speak for you but when I am emotionally wound up about something I don’t always think rationally. If I see a person of any age be harsh with one of my sons, it’s not just Momma Bear that comes out but a whole lot of crazy too. And while I strongly respect and uphold the ten commandments in my daily life, I will give no second thought to murdering any woman who even looks at my husband with a twinkle in her eye. Why? Because of feelings. Unrestrained, pure illogical, FEELINGS.
The girl's conference was drawing to an end. It had been an incredible weekend.. simply incredible... and I couldn't wait to get home to tell my husband all about it. We had a large crew of volunteers helping us clean up and after all the "thank you's" and "goodbye's" I started my long trek home. My mind was still spinning from all that God had done when my phone dinged with an email notification. I was sure it was from one of the girls who had a life-changing experience that weekend that made the countless hours spent planning and executing conference worth every minute of it, because I had already begun to hear stories of what God had done. So I checked my phone.
One thing I know mostly everyone can agree on is not liking the dentist.
If you were to ask me a couple of years ago what I thought of the dentist, I would have told you that they are spawns of Satan himself.
The last few years have been filled with great talks, memorable nights, and an innumerable amount of gut busting laughs- but there are still a few things I want to say. Things I know in my heart you need to hear especially now that God is transitioning us on and I pray that you will take these words to heart.
For years as a kid, I remember looking out of my bedroom window and praying the same prayer. I remember looking out while my parents were fighting, while there was yelling, screaming and everything else that went on, and just praying for something else. I would pray for a way out; for people who really cared about me, for a life that was just drastically different than the one that I was living. I remember praying for that so many times, and I would get upset when it never came true.
I would like to open this blog up by first saying that I am the queen of two left feet, invisible obstacles, and hand-eye UNcordination. And if there were ever a perfect time to start having panic attacks, high school PE was it for me.
It was announced this past month that a certain celebrity would no longer be meeting fans after his shows due to the toll it was taking on his body… which of course was received with a wide variety of emotions by many long time followers. Emotions I do not share because I am on the outside looking in on the whole thing and am left entirely unaffected by the news.
Three friends decide to take a hiking trip. While at the top of the mountain two of them sit down for a quick breather while the third finally gets reception and makes a much anticipated phone call. She is a talker, but even more than that… she is a walking talker. You know those people that can’t really stand still when they are talking to you.
